Without words
by Lilljo
Summary: Hannah Johnson is a very quiet 14 year old girl, she hasn't said a word since her dad died. She is being bullied at school. Her mother is always drinking to escape her life, but Hannah gets between and what will happen when she end up at the Seattle Graces Hospital. This is mostly a MerDer story, but with the focus at Hannah. It will contain ABUSE and might contain SELFHARM.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first fanfiction and English isn´t my first language, so if there are any mistakes just tell me and I will try to fix it.  
****_I do not own any of the characters they belong to Shonda Rhimes, but I own Hannah and her family._****  
****_This fanfiction will play out in the 8 season before the plane crash so that never happened. _****  
I hope you like it :)**

**Chapter 1.**

**Hannah's POV**

The sun is shining outside and I am trapped inside these white walls. The teacher Mrs. Hayman tries once again to make the girls be quiet, I look at them wondering if I would be one of them, if dad had not died. If not my mom had cracked under the pressure of trying to cope. If I haven't been silent since that very day.  
Would I be just like everyone else? Would I be normal? And not just been an excruciating, a waste of a life and only to live to be everyone's punching bag and above all, bring pain to myself.  
What would happen if anyone knew, if they actually knew what happened behind the closed doors?

_-"Hannah? Hannah? Are you listening to me? You know that daydreaming doesn't exactly make you any smarter."_ The voice of Mrs. Hayman brings me back to the same old classroom. I look at her and glance at the other students in the class. I can hear them laughing quietly and mocking me.  
_"Can she get any stupider?"__  
__"Once again she has proven that she is sooo retarded"._  
_"Quiet little Hanna handicap"_

I try to block them out, but they succeed and their words tearing small holes in my soul. I feel so empty; I don't even know why I am here. It's not like I am going to live for much longer. I'm destined to die a slow and painful death; it's just a matter of time.

The school bells rings; it's time to go home. I started to pack my pencils, books and notes slowly. So I can be the last one to leave the classroom, and hopefully everyone else is too busy to hurry home.  
Hurry home to their clean houses with a maintained garden. To their pretty bedroom and their big wardrobe and a loving family that's waits them.

It´s a contrary to what I have to come home to.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

**Hannah's POV**

The familiar scent of alcohol and entrapped air hits my face when I open the door to my house. Not my home, this house stopped being my home five years ago. I close the door quietly, so I won't upset her.  
- "_Hannah, get your fat, lazy ass here. __NOW!"_ She yells from the living room. I quickly hang my overused brown jacket on the hook and kick off my shoes. I quickly run to the living room but I stop in the doorway. She is sitting on the sofa with beer bottles all over the coffee table, the coffee table that's missing a corner, after she hit me with it.  
- "_What time is it?"_ She asks, I know that she doesn't just want to know that time it is.  
- "_WHAT TIME IS IT?!"_ She yells and stands up, when I didn't answer quickly enough. I stiffen with fear when she rushes up towards me, fear of what will happen next. I know she won't show any kindness towards me, especially when I have done something wrong. She grips my arms and shaking me violently.  
-_ "__YOU ARE A COMPLETE MORON; I SAID WHAT TIME IS IT!?"_ She spit in my face as she shouts  
I look at the floor, preparing me for what's about to happen.  
- _ "You're late"_. She says as she puts extra emphasis on the t.

She kicks me right in the abdomen, I lose my breath and I slightly bend over. She takes a harder grip around my arms and throws me on the coffee table, crushing the bottles and the table beneath me. I can't breathe, the pain spread from my back into my arms and legs, they feel so heavy and sore. I can feel the small glass pieces going deeper and deeper as she put all her weight to press me down. I can't move, I can't avoid her gaze full of hatred. Her gaze that once was blue and glance full of love and kindness, which she lost five years ago. Now they are dark, cold and absent.  
- "_You worthless piece of crap! You deserve everything I do to you, every pain you feel"_. She says in a cold voice. I see in her eyes, all the hatred, all the pain.  
-"_What are you looking at?"_ She snaps at me and tosses me aside on the floor.  
-_ "__I don't want to see your ugly face any longer"._ She said in a firm and cold voice and kicks me in the chest. I lose my breath, I take short quick breaths and I begin to hyperventilate. Every breath is heavy, every breath is painful. I can't breathe, it feels like a weight on my chest.  
- "_Get the hell out of my sight and if I see you I swear to god that I will kill you"_ She threaten, I try to stand up. If I don't stand up she would kill me, but death doesn't sound too bad. But she will not kill me, not get; she is not done playing with me. She will almost kill me and then stop, just before I was supposed to die, she won't let me get away that easily.

With the little energy I have, I take the support of the armchair next to me and stand up. Every muscle in my body is sore and heavy. For every movement my body screams out in pain, but I can't listen to it. I have to get to my room, it's not safe but it's safer than standing here.

As soon as I get inside my room I collapse in my small bed. I reached out for my journal under the mattress. I have written every day since that very day, it's feels good to write everything that happened and everything I feel. Because no one will ever hear it, no one will know. It's my own little secret. When I finished writing I put the journal back and let my body fall asleep from exhaustion.

**_So what did you think? I hope you liked it, please read and review :)_**

**_/Johanna_**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2.**

**Author notes:  
Sorry, it has been taking a little longer time than expected but it was stressful with the last national exams and essays. Anyway , I have read your reviews and I want to say thank you for being honest and giving advice, and I have corrected the first chapter and I have gotten a better beta so the future chapter should be more correct. I do not own any of the characters of Grey's Anatomy they belong to Shonda Rhimes, but I own Hannah and her family.**

**Hannah's POW**

My head´s spinning, my whole body feeling stiff, heavy and sore. My alarm clock rings; I have to turn it off before my mother wakes up, with a slow and strenuous movement I succeed to turn it off.  
_07.00 am_ the light blue text flashes. I turn myself on the side and trying to lift up my upper body. I lie on the forearms and with the feet against my leg, I'm half way up and all my strength is gone. I turn my head and look at myself in the mirror.

All I see is a weak and pathetic person who cannot even get out of bed. A person who is so narrow that the ribs are visible, a person who has trails of blood in her long blonde hair, that goes down to the lower back. A person who has the same shimmering light blue eyes as her mother used to have. A person who always has the same old, worn-out clothes. A person, who has no one, a person who only has the shell left of her mother. A shell that does nothing other than hates her.

I pull it together and drag myself up the last part, and sit up straight in the bed. I slowly lift my shirt up, to see how much damage it is this time. My abdomen it covered with bruises and its swollen, and I think I may have broken a rib or two. My back won't stop screaming in pain, I can almost feel the infection from the small pieces of glass, growing in the wounds.  
_07.12_ am, the light blue text flashes. I have to pull the pieces out now, otherwise I will be late for school.

I stand up and move slowly and stiffly to the bathroom, My body feels strange for every movement I do, but it does not feel unfamiliar. Even after all these years, it felt just as strange as last time, but I have learned to walk and move as naturally as possible with the thought of the circumstances. I bring out the tweezers in the top drawer to the right and pulls out the pieces of glass one by one.

Eight brown pieces of glass lying on the sink, with a red tint on the surface. Blood, dried blood, my dried blood. I shower off all the blood and put on my usual dark gray jeans that are a little ragged along the legs, an ordinary light blue tank top with a hole in the side, and a plain washed-out gray sweatshirt, with a zipper and one pocket on each side. When I'm fully clothed, I grab an apple before I leave the house and go to school. Hoping that they won't do anything to aggravate the damage I already have.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

**Hannah's POW**

Big glass doors and the glasscorridoors that is suppose to make my school much more welcoming so you to thrive a little more in school. So they spend a lot more money and effort to renovate the school into a newer and fresher school, than to ensure that students actually feel comfortable there.

By lunch they haven't done that much, they actually have been quite calm. They haven't said as much as they usually do, they have not pushed, kicked or hit me yet, so the day started pretty good. And there are just two lessons left, English and Math. I finished my apple and leave the cafeteria, walking along the glasscorridoorns towards my locker.

During English class I continued working on our extended essays about different historical events in the U.S. I have chosen to write about when settlers came to America, with a specialization in how Native Americans reacted to it and what happened to them when the other settled. When the lesion is over I have to hurry to my locker because next class starts in 5 minutes, and the math is in the other part of the building.

The math lesson runs out quickly after counting equations after equations. Equations are easy, there is always an explanation, a way to solve the problem and it is clear what is wrong and what must be done. I wish everything could as easily as an equation. When the school bell ring I pack my thing and leave the classroom. The girls are walking next to me in the corridor, I glance at them but make sure they do not see. I avoid looking at them, looking anywhere except at them. I can hear them giggling and whispering, I'm almost at my locker. I hear they've stopped whispering and I feel that something is in the way of my legs and I fall forward to the floor. The pain in my abdomen increases sharply as soon as I touch the ground, if my ribs wasn't broken before, they are that now.  
- "Have a nice trip home" She says and adds extra strength on trip as she leaves me and join the others and laughing at me. They continue walking to their looker as nothing happened, as I lay on the floor. I ignored the pain in the abdomen and in the ribs, and I stand up and continue as normal, like nothing happened. Because who will find out, I say nothing and no one would care if I did say something.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

**Hannah's POW**

I open the door to my house. I walk around the house, looking for my motherr. She is nowhere to be found. I stared going my homework and two hours later she is still not home yet. I'm done with all my homework so I should clean a little bit, or else she will be mad at me some other time because I haven't cleaned the house. I pick up the rest of the glass pieces and vacuums the living room, hallway, the kitchen and her bedroom. The only room left to vacuum is my room and she still hadn't come home yet. My room is gloomy, the purple and yellow wallpaper is cracked and the paint has faded. It's old stains of blood on the floor and impact marks on the walls. I hear the door is thrown up, and closed afterwards with a slam.

Mom's home.

**So the next chapter of the chapter after that, Hannah will be turning up at Seattle Grace Hospital, I just wanted you to get to know Hannah a little bit better before placing her at the hospital. So please read and review, don't be afraid to bring tips and feedback so it can be even better, I appreciate that you are honest.**

**Johanna**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3.**

**Author notes: Some wish for longer chapters and I'm sorry but that's is going to be hard.  
I can make longer chapters but I'll take a little time for me to write, so I would rather have a little shorter chapter than you should have to wait very long for every chapter.**

**As usually I do not own any of the characters of Grey's Anatomy they belong to Shonda Rhimes, but I own Hannah and her family.**

**Hannah's POV**

I turn off the vacumcleaner and go out of my room and into the hallway, she stands wabble at the entrance to the kitchen.  
-"Where is the dinner?"She asks stumbling on the words. _" Why am I so stupid? Of course I should have remembered to cook something to her, that should be ready for her when she comes home.  
No wonder that she hates me."  
_-"Why isn't the dinner ready when I come home?" She looks so mad.  
- "Come here!" But my body doesn't want to move, they are screaming to turn around, but I know better. I know that I can't turn around, I know I have to face what will happen next. Much as I want to shout to everyone, how much I want to get everyone to understand. I can't, because I have no say, no words who are listened to.  
-"COME HERE!" She shouts and pointing with her finger on the floor in front of her. My feet automatically start to move forward and I can't do anything about it, maybe they just want to survive. To meet what will happen if I do as I'm told or face the consequences of not coming.

As soon as I am within her reach, she grabs hold of my arms and throw me into the front door and press me up against it. My back hurts so much, I just want to scream. Get myself heard, but the words are not longer with me. She unleashes my arms, perhaps, she gives me a second chance, maybe she lets me go this time. She grabs my neck and press hard. I can't get any air, my hands desperately trying to rip her hands from my neck, but only remains on her hard hands round my fragile neck. She got my life in her hands, she have been holding it for a long time. It feels like my lungs burning, like someone has set them on fire.

Everything goes in slow motion, for every time I blink I slowly see the eyelids open and closes. I see how much she wants to kill me every time my eyelid opens and every time they close my world goes black. I slowly see how the edges of my vision become more and more blurred and the edges are getting bigger and bigger. My lungs burn more and more, screaming for oxygen, but gets nothing.

"_She is going to kill me. She says all the time that she will kill me, but always let me go just before I am supposed to die. She lets me live, maybe she will let me die." _

She lets go of my neck, I take a quick breath, like the little breath of air extinguished the fire. I fall into the floor. I can see the doorway to the kitchen, the old the silvery watch with crooked hands on the hall wall, it shows that the clock is ten in eight. Before my gaze lowered in slow motion to the floor as I fall into it.

I feel nothing.  
It's like I'm dead, I have my eyes open but can't see anything else than the floor and my fingertips, I can't move, I doesn't even know if I am breathing.

_"I am already dead? Did she finally kill me?" _  
- "You got what you deserve, now running to the store and buy me my dinner. And if you are more than 30 minutes away,… then you… little bastard…" She threatens and throw some money in front of my face. I see they lie there and I know I have to get up.

_"Can I get up? If am dead I won't have to. But why would I be dead, because it has not happened anything good in my life, in the last few years. I guess that's just my lot in life."_

I slowly move my fingertips, so they barely lift from the floor. "_Okay, I'm alive, and I can move. I can move, I can move"_ trying to convince myself. I reach for the money, just touching it. Feel the hard fabric under my fingertips, I feel something.

_"I can do this; I can live one more day."  
" I can do this" _I begin to slowly move my feet and hands._  
"I can do this" _I'll take the money in my hand_.  
"I can do this" _I move my legs and arms, I gather strength and I press myself up.  
_"I can do this, I can do this" _The clock shows is almost eight, I stand up with the help of the doorknob and my legs shaking. I take a small step and open the door, I take another small step and I'm outside the house. The small steps turn into steps. The steps turn into jogging and jogging turn into running. There is no time to waste, I have to be back in time or she will just make the damages worse.

It starts raining, I wish I had remembered to bring my jacket. Drops of water running down my long hair and over my face. My clothes are soaking wet and becomes attached as a second layer of skin on my body.

The cars drive at high speed past me and splashing water, I have to continue at the same pace. My legs are hurting for every step I take and my breathing is heavy, it feels like the air burns my lungs. It's a green light at the crossing. I must go over now, I haven't got time to wait for the next green light. I run across the street, I feel the hard metal against my legs. I strike against the hard drenched metal and everything goes black.

**So what did you think? I know it's a little bit short but it was the perfect place to end the chapter.  
So please read and review, don't be afraid to bring tips and feedback so it can be even better, I appreciate that you are honest.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Author notes: I have been gone for two weeks on holiday, so that's why this chapter took a bit longer to publish. And thank you for your reviews, they really make me want to write even more.**

**And this chapter is longer, so I'm a bit proud of myself. Is not much but still it's a little achievement to me. And as usually I do not own any of the characters of Grey's Anatomy they belong to Shonda Rhimes, but I own Hannah and her family.**

**Derek's POV:**

It's been a pretty quiet day, two long surgeries, but I still have four hours left of my shift. "Beep, beep" I'm paged, I start to run towards the ER.

- "You paged?" I said looking at the patient.

-"Jane Doe in her early teen years, hit by a car, she has head trauma, massive internal bleeding and two broken ribs" April says and Lexie is handing over a CT-scan. I look at the scan, she will need surgery. Meredith is examining the patient, I walk quickly past Meredith and I check the patient's pupils.

- "She needs to go into surgery now, to stop the internal bleeding" Meredith says.

- "She has internal bleeding in the frontal lope, I have to operate on her now. Lexie bok an OR. " I look at the patient, there is something on her neck. I draw down the zipper a little bit in order to see the whole neck. Large bruising around her neck and with marks of fingers. I'm stunned, that wasn't what I expected to see.

-"She has large bruising around her neck and there are marks of fingers, she must have been strangled" I say and look at Meredith, she walks closer and look at the patient's neck.

-"We need to operate on her now, or she won't make it." I look at her.

- "We will examine it further after surgery, first and foremost, we need to make sure she survives" I replied to Meredith.

- "Okay, let's go" Meredith says and we rush to the OR.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

I walk into the OR, put on my gloves and walk towards the patient.

- "Dr. Grey, Dr. Shepherd, I think you want to take a look at this" One of the scrub nurses says and pointed at the patient. "She has bruises all over her arms and stomach" I look at Meredith, no need to say anything, we both know what we must do.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

-"Look at this" Meredith says and point at the scan. "These bones must have been broken long before this accident, they couldn't have been treated, see how the bones have failed to heal properly." The door opens behind me and Lexie walks in.

- " I called the Child protective services, they need to know something about her. Her name, address, phone number, just something, before they could do anything about it" She says and sighs lightly.

- "Okay… when we just need to find out something about her" I answer and look at Meredith.

- "And we have to go and check on her now, so…" she says and pointed at the door.

Walking into the patient's room, she still hadn't woken up yet. She lies with wires and a bandage around her head, and the sound of the machines occupies the room. I check her vitals and she slowly opens her eyes and looks with sleepy eyes around the room, then barring her eyes and sits up abruptly.

-" Hi, I'm Dr. Shephard, you're in Seattle Graces Hospital. You got hit by a car; do you remember anything from the accident?" No answer she looks down and avoids eye contact. I sit down on the chair next to the bed.

-"Do you remember your name?" I say and look at her, still no answer.

-"Is there anyone I can call? Family, friend?" No answer. She just sits there, looking down on her hand and not saying a word. I look at Meredith; it will probably be harder to figure out anything, than what we had thought.

-"If there is anything at all, press it red button and we will come as fast as we can, okay?" I stand up waiting for any kind of reply, after a while and still no response I walk out of the room with Meredith right in front of me. I stop outside the patient's room and turn to Meredith.

-"Maybe she is just in shock, and we need to wait for her to understand what has happened" She says and looking at the girl sitting up in her bed and not moving an inch.

-"Yeah, it's probably not anything else we can do" I replied and fill-in the unknown girl's chart.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

**Hannah 's POV:**

My whole body is aching, I feel numb and the eyelids are so heavy that I can hardly open them. When I open my eyes, it is so bright and white. _"Am I in heaven? Did I die?"_ I can see silhouettes of two people. My vision is getting sharper and I see two people in white coats, they are two doctors. "_Oh no, oh no, this isn't good. I can't be here, they might just see... NO, they can't see, I can let them." _

-" Hi, I'm Dr. Shephard, you're in Seattle Graces Hospital. You got hit by a car, do you remember anything from the accident?" The male doctor says and sits down next to me. I can feel his eyes staring at me _"No, this can't be happening, this can't happen. I shouldn't even be here"_

-" Do you remember your name?" _" I'm so stupid, they can never find out how I am. Maybe if I'm quiet enough they would leave me alone"_

-" Is there anyone I can call? Family, friend?" _"No there is no one to call, I have no family or friends who would care about me, and my mother can't find out that I've been here."_

-" If there is anything at all, press it red button and we will come as fast as we can, okay?" The doctor stands up and wait for my answer, but I'm not going to answer, I can say anything even if I wanted to. I have to get home, before mom noticed that I've been gone for so long. I just have to wait for the right time to escape from here. The male doctor and the other female doctor leaves the room and stops outside next to one of the nurses stations, I can barely see them. But I quickly look back down, so they won't notice anything. _"Okay, if I just wait a little bit longer, I can quickly sneak out of here."_

I look up every now and then, they are still there. I don't think they will go away, I think they are waiting for me, waiting for me to do something. I look up once again and the female doctor is walking in my direction, I quickly look down. _"Okay, I haven't got that much time, I have to sneak out now. It's now or never"_

OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

**Derek's POV:**

-" Derek, I have to go and check on a patient and she still hadn't moved" Meredith says and looks at the patient.

-" I will paged you when if something changes" I replied and watch my wife walk past the patient's room and go down the corridor. I look down at the chart, trying to figure some way to make the patient talk. I look up and the patient is standing in the doorway.

-"Miss"I say and walk towards her. She quickly turns around, I look her in the eye. She looks so scared, so terrified. She turns around and run.

-" Wait" I say before I run after her. She runs and flexible avoid everything that is in front of her. She runs through the corridor, I see Mark's and Jackson's surprising faces when she runs past them and I, who am a bit behind her. She continues running, she quickly looks back and nearly runs into a nurse. Paper is flying from the nurse's arms, spreading out across the floor. She continue running and she flings open the door to the stairwell, and runs down the stairs.

-"Wait, miss" I shouts and follow her down the stairs. She opens the door rapidly and continue running down the long corridor. I can hear her feet hitting the floor, and how her feet slowly turn heavier as they hit the floor. She slows down until she stand completely still. She is standing with her arms hanging down her body, she falls on her knees and collapses on the floor.

OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

**Hannah's POV:**

I turn and put my feet on the floor, the cold floor against my feet soft surface. I stand up and take a few steps, I walk to the doorway and looking out in both directions.

-"Miss" a voice says behind me, I turn around it was the male doctor and he walks towards me. _"He can't know anything, I have to get out of there. Or I don't know what will happen if she finds out"_ I turn around and start running, just running away from here.

-" Wait" he shouts, but I can't, I have to keep running.

I quickly turn around and look at him, he has dark brown curly hair and friendly blue eyes. _"I could just stop running, let them help me. Let them know what nobody else knows. They would take me away from her, take me away from the only thing that prevents me from living. But they would also take me away from the only thing I have left.  
I could just stop, stop everything that gives me scars. But I can't, I can't stop running. I just can't stop because it's my world, my reality. It will never end until she ends it herself."_

I fling up the door and run down the stairs, I have to get out of here.

-"Wait, miss" He shouts once again and he doesn't stop, he just continues running after me. I run down a few stairs, its feel so familiar. I open the door and I just keep running automatically, like I've been here before. The long corridor, it feels so familiar.

**FLASHBACK:**

_-" Daddy, where are we going? I say jumping up and down around him._

_-" We're going to get some supplies and after that you have your appointment" He says and continue walking and stops at a door._

_-" Okay, why do I need to go to the appointment?" I ask and stop next to him._

_-" Because, honey bee, we need to make sure that everything is okay" He says and opens the door and walks in. I jump behind him, looking at all the things in the room. There are shelves full with lots of different and strange things._

_-" Daddy, daddy, look" I say and run behind the shelf, grabbing a big white plastic object._

_-" Honey, put that back where you find it. We can play after the appointment but now I need you to be a big girl and listen to daddy, okay?" He says in astrict but a sweet and loving voice._

_- "Okay" I say and put the funny object back where I find it. The door opens and a large muscular man walks in._

_- "You! Dr. Johnson", the man says and hit daddy in the face, daddy slopes a few steps back, he is pressed against the wall and holding one hand over his face. "This is for…" he hits daddy once more. The cold feeling spreads out into my body. I freeze behind the shelf, I don't know that to do. "…You put me at the psychology department…" He hits daddy over and over again. Daddy hits him back, but he grapes daddy's head and hit it against the wall. My vision is blurred and the tears running down my cheeks, I'm so scared, I don't know what I'm suppose to do, I keep a tight grip around the shelf edge, I dare not let go, I'm too afraid."…I haven't got anger management issues!" he yells angrily and throws dad's head repeatedly against the wall, until the wall has taken a red crimson color. He drops daddy and he falls limply to the floor. The man watching daddy a little while, then he leaves. I wait for the door to be closed, I slowly walk along the shelves, until the edge of the shelf. Daddy is lying on the floor completely still, in a pool of red blood. _

_-"Daddy?" I cry out and run towards him, I sit down on my knees beside him. "Daddy?" I shake him, I can't stop crying. "Daddy?" I shake him even more fiercely. "Daddy wake up, wake up" He is not waking up. "Daddy wake up!"I scream with verge of tears. "Wake up daddy, please wake up" I cry softly. I look down, there's blood everywhere. I have blood on my white flowered dress and blood on my arms and legs. " Daddy please, please just wake up" he is not waking up, and he is not ever going to. I lay on his chest sobbing uncontrollably into his chest, there is no heartbeat. "Daddy please come back"_

_I can hear the door opens. "Please don't leave, daddy please" I cry exhausted._

_-"Oh my god!" Two people run to us, one of them put her finger on daddy's neck._

_-" Is he alive?" A man asks, the women shakes her head "what should we do with the girl?" she asks._

_-" I can take her and you could page the chief" the man says and takes a soft grip around me. But I hold tightly to daddy while my world is falling into pieces. He lifts me but I'm struggling to get away from him, I just want to be with daddy. "No, let me go. Daddy wake up, daddy!" I cry out desperately for him and keep a tight grip of his arm. I don't want to let go, I will not let go of him. The man lifts me up and hold me against his chest, "No, Daddy" I cry out. The man turns around and walks toward the door, I could see over his shoulder and daddy is still there lifeless on the floor "Daddy, don't leave me. Daddy" I scream for him to save me. But he isn't coming, my world is shattered._

I feel the hard, cold floor beneath me, but it feels so numb. It feels like I'm not the one who controls my body, that my soul no longer belongs to my body. I'm shaking and the tears streams without an end. I'm so tired, so tired of feeling this badly. I'm so tired of ruin everything for everyone around me, no wonder no one likes me. I can feel two hands on my shoulders, I feel how the hands making round soft circles on my back.

-"It's okay, it's okay" I recognize his voice, it's the same doctor that chases me when I tried to escape. After a while he lifted me up into his embrace, I feel nothing besides a cold and empty feeling, that's eating me from within. I'm so exhausted, my body can't take it anymore. Everything just gets darker and darker.

**Derek's POV:**

I run even faster when she hits the floor, she starts shaking. When a get closer I see that she isn't shaking but instead she is sobbing silently, not a sound escapes her lips. I lay my hand on her shoulders and I look at her. Her eyes are shut tightly with tears streaming down her face, bruises and scars all over her body.

-"It's okay, it's okay" I say and lift her up into my embrace, trying to comfort her. What has happened to her? Why is she covered in bruises and scars? Why did she to escape? What is she hiding? There are so many questions, but none of then can I answer. I just hold her, trying to comfort her. Eventually she stops crying and she is sleeping. She looks so tired and so miserable. I stand up with her still in my embrace. She is feather light, I know that she is very underweight, it's one of the only things that we know about her. But still, she it's not meant to be so underweight and undernourished, she is just a child. I start walking back to her room, she needs to be checked. She is not suppose to run this soon after surgery.

**So what did you think, please read and review, don't be afraid to bring tips and feedback so it can be even better, I appreciate that you are honest.**

**/Johanna**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Author notes: I'm sorry I haven't updated as fast. But I have been really busy with my summer job and with everything to do with our house before selling, and prepare for the move to our new house. And I have had a real writers block in the meantime, but it is really not an excuse.**

**And as usually I do not own any of the characters of Grey's Anatomy they belong to Shonda Rhimes, but I own Hannah and her family.**

**Meredith's POV:**

I'm standing and doing my patient's chart, the one with a kidneyfailiur and Christina walk up to me.

" Mer, do you know why your husband is chasing a patient?" Cristina just blurts out.

" He what?" I ask surprised.

" He chased a girl with long hair who tried to run away from him" She explains.

" That must be our Jane Doe, she is in her early teen and she came in here a few hours ago with a head trauma, massive internal bleeding, two broken ribs and she is covered with bruises and scars. So we need to find out something about her so we can report her to Child protective services, but the problem is that she not talking" I tell Christina and look at her.

" Wow, that's a problem" She looks at her watch and continues "Well you have to solve that problem on your own for now, because I have surgery in five minutes" She pats her hands on her legs and stand up " See you later" She says and I answer her, and then she leaves. I finished my patient's chart and walk fast to our Jane Doe's room.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Looking into the patient's room, she is lying there asleep in her bed. She looks so fragile, so vulnerable.

" Mer." I turn around when I hear Derek's voice behind me. " She tried to run away, she was running until she just slowed down and collapse But there was nothing on her scans, no bleeding, nothing.

"When what happened?" I ask him.

"I don't know, she just collapsed on the floor crying and I don't why she cried. And she didn't stop until she fell asleep. When I carried her back here and did some test but all of them were negative" he answer sighing and rubs his fingers in his temple.

" Then we wait for her to wake up, and then ask her again and if she isn't answering we report her to the media as a missing person" I say and awaits an answer.

" Yeah, we do that" He says tiresome and looks at the clock on the wall, and then looks back at me "My shift is over and I think Zola have worn out Alex by now" He says with a little smile.

"Yeah, probably" I say smiling back "He loves babysitting Zola but she can be quite demanding sometimes." We both smile, he takes a step closer "We should head home, but first we must ensure that they keep an extra eye on her, and that they have to page us as soon as she wakes up" He takes his arm around my shoulder and put his hand on my shoulder, and pulls me into his embrace. And we start walking to the our car. Down in the lobby I see Christina is filling out a chart at nurses stations.

"Christina" I say and she turn around, I let go of Derek and go towards her.

" Hey Mer" She answer when I stand next to her.

" Are you on-call tonight?" She looks up from her chart as I ask her.

"Yes, how so…?" she asks wonderingly.

" I have this patient that I wonder if you could keep an extra eye on?" I ask and she stands straight up

"It's that girl that tried to escape, isn't it?" She says and look at me like I was revealed.

" It is, she was sleeping when we left and we don't know what have happened to her or who she is. We have already told the nurses, but I need you to keep an eye on her and call if something happens.

" I can do it" She answers "Than…" I was just suppose to answer when she said "But then you owe me for this one".

"Thank you" I say and she nods her head and continue filling out a chart. I turn back to Derek and takes his hand that he has reached out.

"Let's go home"

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Waking up from the sound of a pager, I turn myself towards the bedside table and lift up my pager. Its our Jane Doe. I turn around to see Derek fumbling with his pager, I look back at my bedside table. The clock is showing its 05.18 am.

"Derek, I go and you stay with Zola" I say and look back at him "You have your morning free and my shift starts still about two hours and my shift ends earlier than your's. And someone need to stay home with Zola" He looks at me with sleepy eyes and messy hair.

"Mer, you need to sleep before you work in the morning" he says softly. I sit straight up in our bed.

"No, I will go and I call you if I need you" I said and starts looking for my clothes.

" You're not going to give up, are you?" He asks in an _I-know-you-so-well _voice.

"No" I answer with a little smile and put on my clothes. When I'm all dressed, I take my phone and I give Derek a quick kiss and leave the room. Before I leave the house I take a short look in Zola's room, she is sleeping peacefully. She is so innocent, nothing has left her scared and everything is so simple for her. I wish that she could stay this way, so she won't have to face the terrible things that life can bring, but for now she still is my little girl. As soon as I close the front door behind me, my phone rings. It's Christina's name on the screen.

"Christina, what happened?" I ask when I answer my phone and continue walking to the car.

-"She has locked herself up in the bathroom and there is water vapor coming out from underneath the bathroom door. We have asked her to open the door but she won't, so we have called the janitor and he is on his way." She says fast.

-"I'm in the car now, so I'll be there soon" I say and hang up the phone, and focuses on the road.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Running into the patient's room, water vapor that pours out from under the bathroom door, settle like a fog in the room. I can see the janitor working on the door handle and Christina waiting impatiently for him to be ready. When I come closer Christina turns around and look at me.

-" What happened?"I'm still surprised by what happened.

-"A nurse saw her go into the bathroom, so she went after her and tried to talk to her, but she pushed her out of the bathroom and locked the door behind her. When she must have turned on the shower with really hot water because the water vapor is pouring out from under the door" Just when I was suppose to reply, the janitor opens the door and I rush into the bathroom. Looking to the right, nothing but a toilet and a sink. I look to the left, the water pouring over her. She sits in the corner curled up, with her head lowered and her hair covering her face. She has her arms tightly tied around her legs. Her arms and legs are completely red and her hospital gown is soaking wet. I take rapid steps toward her and turn off the shower, I bend down and stand on one knee by her side. I lay my hand on her shoulder softly, she is shaking and the water runs down her steaming hot body.

" Christina, can you handle me a towel?" I ask and look at her, not sure that to say to her. I am stroking her arm softly "it will be fine" I say trying to comfort her.

" Here" Christina says and handing me a towel. I start to dry her carefully, because her skin looks very tender.

"Can you page Mark? I want him to take a look at her arms" I ask and she answers yes and leaves. I look back at her, she looks so small, so innocent.

" I need you to go back to your bed, but first you might want to change into some dry clothes" I say and stand up and go to the cabinet and take a new hospital gown. I go back into the bathroom and she hasn't moved an inch, I put down the hospital gown on the toilet seat and I bend down in front of her.

"Can you stand up?" No response from my words. "Okay, then I will lift you up" I put my hand under her arms and lift her up carefully. I make sure that she stands on her own before I let go of her "I put your new gown on the toilet seat" I say and points at it. "I give you a minute to change… I'll be outside if you need anything" I say and leave the bathroom and closes the door behind me.

**Okay, what did you think? Please review it really makes my day. And if you find it difficult to review because you don't know what to say, I can help you with some guidelines; What was best/worst? How was the chapter's overall? Is there anything you wonder about, if there is you can ask about it.**

**/Johanna**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**Author notes: As usually I do not own any of the characters of Grey's Anatomy they belong to Shonda Rhimes, but I own Hannah and her family.**

**Meredith POV:**

I stand next to her bed, looking at the bathroom door. I can't stop wondering what happened to her, why she won't talk, why she tried to escape, what is it that she is hiding.

"You paged?" I hear Mark's voice behind me, I turn around to look at him and then back at the bathroom door.

"Yes, I need you to examine my patient…" I say and look at her empty bed and then look back on Mark's puzzled face, wondering where the patient is. "She is changing to a dry hospital gown" I say and point at the door. He looks at me even more confused.

"And you need me exactly why?" He asks trying to figure out what he is here to do. I sigh and take a deep breath to collect myself before I start talking "She locked herself in the bathroom, we needed to break open the door and the water vapor came out from under the door the whole time" I look at Mark, who doesn't understand what it has to do with anything and why he is required, I sigh once again." When we finally got in she sat in the shower, fully dressed with steaming hot water running down. And… her arm is especially is very red and seems to have taken some damage" I say and look back at the door quickly before turning back to Mark.

"For how long was she in the hot water?" He asks after thinking for a while.

" I don't know for sure, but at least for 30 minutes" I say and I hear the door behind me opens. I turn around, she slowly opens the door and quickly look down at the floor as she steps out from the bathroom. She takes small steps forward and takes a few steps back as she closes the door behind her, she stands with her back against the door. And keep her head lowered and looking at the floor, water dripping from her hair hanging freely over her shoulders and down her back and arms.

" This is Dr. Sloan, he is going to need to examine your arms" No response from the girl. "We need to check if you got any damage from the hot water" Still no response. "We just want to make sure all is well with you, no injuries, neither physically or mentally. Okay?" I say and look at her, after a little while she nods her head. I finally reached out to her, she finally responded and maybe, just maybe she will open up. "Good, can you come and sit on your bed so Dr. Sloan can examine you?" I say and take a few steps back to make more space between me, the bed and her. She takes a few deep breaths before she takes small steps toward the bed, still staring at the floor. I turn my attention to Mark, he looks at me a little confused, he doesn't know anything about her previous responses. He doesn't know much about her, none of us knows much about her.

"The nurse has already prepared and brought in items that you need" I say to Mark and point at a little table on the left side of the end of the bed. I turn back to the girl, she is sitting in her bed, looking down on her hands. Mark takes a seat beside her and tell her what he is going to do, step for step. While she sits there, giving no response whatsoever to Mark as he examines her.

" The most part of your skin is undamaged, I will run cold water over the areas that have been burned and then apply a burn cream on the burn areas with this" Mark says and picks up a cotton swab " And then I will cover with a bandage. Okay?" He asks her but receive no response, he waits a while before he starts treating the lightly burned skin.

"Okay, all done. You did very good" Mark says smiling at the girl, he takes off the gloves and he turns around and look at me. " Dr. Grey, may I speak with you" He says and gesticulates to the door.

"Of course" I say and then look back at the girl "I will come and check on you in a little while, Okay?" I say and give her a little while to respond, then I walk out of the room with Mark shortly after me. I stop with some distance from her room and turn to Mark.

"She will need to have antibiotic ointment rubbed on her burned areas tomorrow and keep it covered for at least two more days"

"Okey I'll make sure it gets done" I answer Mark.

"So she is the girl who tried to run away from Derek? She ran really fast, it looked pretty hilarious when he tried to catch up with her" Mark says with a little laugh.

"I can figure" I replied with a small laugh. "Well I have to check on my patient and I need to arrange the transfer of the girl to the Pediatric floor" He's pager starts beeping, he look's at it and then back at me.

"Well I have to go now, I see you later Grey" He says and walks away.

XOXOXOXOXOXOX

**Hannah's POV**

She left the bathroom and I hold on to the towel around me. I don't want to be here, I just want to go back. I need to get back, I have no other choice. I can't stand all those people here pretending that they actually care, at least my mother doesn't pretend. She only does what I deserve, but these people are doing things that I don't deserve. I don't deserve to be rescued, it was my own fault that I got hit by a car, so I don't deserve their help, I have only myself to blame. And now I have to fix it, I have to everything to get back without anyone notices. And if that means that I have to trick my doctors, then so be it.

I start to change into the dry hospital gown, it feels good to wear dry clothes again. I can hear them talking about me, if they are like everyone else they aren't talking good things about me. When I'm all dressed I open the door and takes small steps forward them. I take a few steps back when I close the door behind me. I stop with my back against the door and keep my head lowered, and my gaze focusing on the floor. There is water dripping from my hair that is hanging freely over my shoulders and down my back and arms.

" This is Dr. Sloan, he is going to need to examine your arms and the top of your head" She says and look at me. I stand still giving her nothing as a response.

"We need to check if you got any damage from the hot water" I continue to stand still.

"We just want to make sure all is well with you, no injuries, neither physically or mentally. Okay?" For just a moment I believed her, that she cared, that she wanted to make sure that I was okay. So I nod my head. But then reality hit me, that is just nonsense, no one can care about me. I'm not a person that people like, I'm not a person that people cares about, I'm not a person who deserves it.

"Good, can you come and sit on your bed so Dr. Sloan can examine you?" _I can do this, I can pretend that everything is okay._ I take deep breaths. _I can do this_, I can continue as nothing have happened, like I haven't been beaten by mother, like I don't wish every day that she could end it so I finally could have peace. I can continue as I have done for the last seven years.

I take small steps to the bed and climb into my bed, I sit straight up and look down on my hands.

"The nurse has already prepared and brought in items that you need" She says an I keep looking down on my hands. The other doctor takes a seat beside me and tell me what he is going to do, step for step. I sit still and not moving unless the doctor tells me to. I watch him and what he does, discreet, so they won't notice me looking.

"Okay, all done. You did very good" He says. _Good? What did I do that was good? I just sit here while he treated something I did to myself because I deserved it. That is not good._ He takes off his gloves, Then he turns around and look at my doctor " Dr. Grey, may I speak with you" He says and gesticulates to the door.

"Of course" She says and then look back at me "I will come and check on you in a little while, Okay?" She says and waits a little while for me to answer, with no answer she walk out of the room with the other doctor shortly after her.

Now I really need to get out of here. I can try to sneak out in the corridor and out of the hospital but that went _so well_ last time. There might be another way, I wait until they are out of my sight until I look around. Windows, I get out of bed and go towards the window. My whole body is aching, I just want to lay down and sleep. But I can't I can't sleep now, I have to get out of here. I look out the window, my room is high up and there is no ladder. I can't climb down either, with my injured body and if I fall from here it's a major risk that I die. I have to plan a better escape, I take small steps back to the bed. I need to lie down and if I rest now I have the energy to escape later. I lie down in the bed _I'll just lie down and rest for a little while._

**So what did you think? Please review it really makes my day and it makes me more motivated to write. And if you find it difficult to review because you don't know what to say, I can help you with some guidelines; What was best/worst? How was the chapter's overall? If there anything you wonder about, you can always ask.**

**/Johanna**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**Author notes: I just want to thank every one of you who reviewed, I'm really grateful for them.  
And I also want to say sorry for any grammatical errors, I should trust my guts when I feel that it is wrong but both my beta's say it correct. **

**And I'm sorry if it took a little time but somehow the text disappeared from my document and I know that I saved it. So I had to rewrite and that took some time. And I have had a lot of things to do, but I try to post a new chapter every week but we will see how well that goes later on.**

**It is a little short but this chapter was a little harder to write. ****Anyway as usually I do not own any of the characters of Grey's Anatomy they belong to Shonda Rhimes, but I own Hannah and her family.**

**Hannah's POV**

"Hey" I look up to see my doctor sit by my bedside, I must have fallen asleep, I quickly look away, I can't face her. I'm scared what will happen if she figures out anything about me, I must remain a secret. And I have to get out of here, and fast before mother noticed that I'm gone.

"We are going to transfer you to the Pediatric floor" She says and stands up. "You just need to sit in this bed while we transport you to your new room, okay?" she says and I continue to stare at my hands. Now I get the opportunity to look for a good escape route.

"And I need to ask you a couple of questions before we transfer you, okay?" She says questioningly and I continue staring.

"Okay, can you remember anything from the accident?" she asks and I can't answer her. First of all, I can't say a single word, and second, I have to keep my identity unknown.

"Do you remember your name?" She asks when I didn't answer the first question. After she have waited or me to answer, she starts looking into her pocket of her lab coat. She lay a pen and a little piece of paper on the bed next to my legs. "Can you write the answers instead?" she says and points at the paper and pen next to me.

I look at the paper.  
Here's my chance, my chance to tell them everything. My chance to be heard, but who am I kidding, who will actually care about me. Me, the girl who no one knows who she is. The girl who is just in the way of everyone else, the girl that no one love, of will ever be loved. So if I tell her, my mother will find out where I have been and that is not going to end very well. I need to be strong until my mother let me go.

She looks at me and sighs "You are not going to answer me, are you?" She asks and I feel sorry for her, she tries so hard to help me but I can't be helped, I'm a lost case. There is no one who can save me.

"Okay, you don't have to say or write anything now, but I'm going to transfer you now" She says and starts doing something with all the different things that I'm connected to.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

**Derek's POV:**

Walking through the hospital doors with Zola in my arm, hoping to see my wife before dropping Zola off at daycare. Zola's small fingers pull and spins playfully coils of my hair, and there by the nurses station, she stands.

"Hey" I say and give her a small kiss on her cheek. "So what happened to our Jane Doe?" She turns around and give me a smile.

"Hey honey. And isn't it my favorite girl" She says smiling to Zola and takes her in her arm. "She had locked herself in the bathroom and they we got in she sat in the shower, fully dressed with steaming hot water pouring over her. A few areas of her arm got slightly damaged, and I… I tried to talk to her…" she says uncertainly with Zola balancing on her hip.

"How did it go? Did she say anything?" I ask.

"She didn't want to answer." I signs "When she didn't answer me I gave her a pencil and a paper, she just stared at the paper. I just know that there is something that she is hiding, and with all whose bruises and scars, I just…"

"Mer, it's okay. We will help her in the best way we can, with what we know" I say comforting.

" I know, but what if that's not enough?"

"Well it has to be enough, we can only do our best and hope that's good enough." I say and look at my watch.

"Well I should go and drop this little princess at daycare now, I have a consult in five minutes. I met you at our Jane Doe's room later"

"Yea, bye bye Zozo" she says and give Zola a little kiss on her forehead, and hand her over to me.

" I love you and I see you later" I say lovingly

I love you too, she says lovingly and I turn around and start walking towards the daycare.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Meredith stands over the nurses station writing a chart, I walk up to her and pull her in my arms. She turns her head "Hi, Derek" She says and kiss my lips soft.

"You gave me quite a scare, when you forgot to tell me that you already transfer her to the Pediatric floor. And when I went to check on her she wasn't there, I asked a nurse and she told me that you have transferred her to Pediatric floor." I say.

"I'm sorry"She says with a laugh. "Well I can ensure that she is in her room now… Umm.. Derek?"

"Yes?" I ask and she turns around, so we stand facing each other.

"I don't think she will be telling us something anytime soon, so I think we should report her to the media as a missing person. If she won't say anything when maybe someone that knows her well."

"Yeah, we should do that, I have to check on a patient before we tell her." I say and look at the door to her room.

"Okay, I make the call and I see you in a few minutes"

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

**Meredith POV:**

"Okay, let's go in and tell her" I say and step inside the patient's room with Derek shortly after me. She is sitting in the bed with the paper and the pencil in the same place as I left it.

"Hi, I got some news,." I take a deep breath before I continue "We have reported you to the media, in corder for someone to recognize you." I say and she looks up the minute I told her the news. She looks so scared, so terrified, like she just heard the worst news she even could have imagined. She doesn't even try to hide what she feels, she had always tried to hide it and avoid eye contact. But not this time, she seems so lost, not knowing what to do next.

**Please review it really makes my day and it makes me more motivated to write. And don't be afraid to bring tips and feedback so it can be even better, I appreciate that you are honest.**

**And if you find it difficult to review because you don't know what to say, I can help you with some guidelines; What was best/worst? How was the chapter's overall? If there anything you wonder about, you can always ask.**

**/Johanna**


End file.
